Thank you to all who came out on Sunday night. I am so touched when people sacrifice their sleep to come out and party with us! Souljah Fyah Sundays help me to start the week with a sense of purpose.
I heard last week that Alberta has 4000 suicides a year. Suicide is consistently a leading cause of death for Albertans. For some facts, see: Alberta Health Services
What do you think we can do to SEE this problem and DO something about it? Please no comments that call into question the moral nature of such a decision. I am genuinely interested in how we can HELP.
Much Love,
Sista J
Hi J,
ReplyDeleteI think what you said on Sunday is particularly important...when we ask someone how they feel, don't just settle for the generic response and respond back the same way. If we, reach down into our souls and take the first step to be truly open with our loved ones and the ones close to us...we can pave the way for those contemplating not being with us anymore to do the same and possibly turn their thoughts around to want to strive to be at a happier place in life here among us.
It is hard for me to just open up about how I truly feel and what I truly think and just talk my feelings out because I'm afraid of what people might think, even my loved ones. But if I can burst through that barrier and lay out my feelings on my sleeve, others watching/hearing might be influenced to do the same and that in the end might give them that light that they need at the end of the tunnel.
After I left your show I asked one of my friends how they are doing. Generic response: Good and u? ...so I answered "No, how are you TRULY doing?" ...so came the true answer (not too good) and I was able to talk to her and to put a smile on her face in the end.
I believe the answer lies in reaching out by reaching deep down into ourselves first and coming out of this shell it seems we're all in. Seems like our lives have become so busy we are almost like robots...we have to slow it down. Experience good things and bad things; truly grasp the experiences, let it sink in and proceed from there.
How come our dinners are only one hour long many a times? Make it 3 or 4 hours which will allow for deep conversation and uplifting our spirits. This is a chance to talk about our problems and challenges we face and ways to overcome these.
Let your loved ones know that you are TRULY there for them: make a point of really listening to them and absorbing what they've got to say. Even if we don't have the best answer for them, we can show them that we are actually listening to their words and not just "hearing" what they're saying.
So that's how I am going to start this...working on my listening skills and opening up more about my problems and anxieties and so forth.
One Love,
Agata
Speaking openly about Suicidal Depression is something I readily and freely do when the situation is appropriate - it is not an easy topic for others to listen to. And often only those who are suffering themselves can appreciate how hard it is to feel heard. The cry of excruciating anguish is often so silent it isn't heard or acknowledged until it is too late.
ReplyDeleteMy life was going to end the summer of 2004. I had almost all my affairs in order and I was counting the days until I didn't have to suffer any more. Those I loved the most had already gone before me and I could not see the point of continuing.
It is human nature to utilize guilt to attempt to manipulate others..."How would your mother/father/wife/husband/children feel if you took your life?" This isn't helpful....truly. Excruciating anguish leaves no more room for taking guilt on - wanting to be heard and truly, completely feel some relief from the crushing pain is all there is room for. Guilt is not an effective dialogue opener.
It has been about 4 years (an approximate time since there is never a concrete moment, just hundreds or thousands of moments when the decision to live rather than die must be made) since I felt suicidal. It was a long, extremely hard and intense journey, and frankly it wasn't always done with the support I needed from family and friends - talking about IT made them uncomfortable, unhappy, and occasionally hurtfully dismissive.
Suicide is not about getting back at others. It is about freedom. About having some control over our life…..
It is possible to step back from that final decision but it can only be done by the one making the decision. Death is easy. Choosing to live is much harder. It’s a decision that has to be made hundreds or thousands of times…..just listen.
Rest in Peace Little One
Love Kim
Thank you, Agata, for your encouragement that the ripples go on long after a show. And thank you, Kim, for your open disclosure about your lifevexperience. I am honoured.
ReplyDeleteLove,
J